


I Want To Feel, No Matter How Much, I Want To Love

by bluemisfortune



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V, Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Genre: Alternate Universe, Awkward Crush, Child Soldiers, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, the obligatory GX Academia au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27521968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemisfortune/pseuds/bluemisfortune
Summary: Those who stand at the top of Academia do so upon the discarded lives of others. And just as often their own. It's all too easy to lose yourself in the darkness of war without a light to guide you.
Relationships: Marufuji Ryou | Zane Truesdale/Tenjouin Fubuki | Atticus Rhodes
Kudos: 4





	1. Apprenticeship

**Author's Note:**

> So, while I was working on the last chapter of Reality Different From Real and putting in all the GX references, I remembered how much I missed GX. And so I wrote the obligatory everyone from GX at Academia. And, yeah while writing that chapter I sorta realised the only explanation for Dennis' general Dennisness and fashion is Fubuki and I write him with such a thing for grumpy older brothers it was a given he was going to have crush on Ryou. Also Tyers teasing Misawa all the way through because Amazoness decks.

They’re approaching graduation when Fubuki first introduces them. 

Or perhaps rather, when Fubuki pulls him into Ryou’s dorm room like a trophy to show off.

“This is my new apprentice,” Fubuki declares, hands on the kid’s shoulders like a proud parent.

Ryou has seen the kid around before. He’s an Honour Student in their typical white and blue uniform and no doubt an Ancient Gear deck on his belt. He sits at the back of special classes with the Tyler sisters - a pair who, to Fubuki’s endless frustration, show no interest in whatever charms he puts on for them and focus on Misawa Daichi and leave him lamenting there’s no accounting for some people’s lack of taste, while also seeming to take it as a personal challenge. Dennis Macfield. A charmer himself. Often caught trick shuffling and practicing magic tricks and flirting his way out of trouble with the older ladies on the faculty and carelessly flirting with the younger girls with no sign of actually being interested. Exam results that say he’s brilliant but day to day results that say he’s lazy. 

Just like Fubuki then. 

“He’s got the makings of a great spy, you know?”

Honestly, Ryou has yet to decide if setting up the effortlessly social and supernaturally attuned to gossip Fubuki to be in charge of a spy network is brilliant or idiotic. He supposes the results of his work will decide that.

Dennis gazes up at Ryou silently, freckle dusted cheeks red to match his hair. Ryou wouldn’t imagine such a seemingly confident young man would be so embarrassed by Fubuki’s antics but, well, Fubuki is Fubuki.

“Apprentice?” Ryou says.

“Yep,” Fubuki says with a grin. “His name is Dennis. Dennis, this is Ryou. Ah, but I suppose you know that already.”

“Everyone knows who Kaiser is,” Dennis says quietly. 

“Did the Professor ok this?” Ryou says. Fubuki shrugs. “Did _anyone_ with authority ok this?” 

“Does it have to be official?” Fubuki laughs. 

Ryou sighs. “How did this happen?”

“There was a bet on a duel,” he says, waving a hand. “Things happen. Don’t get too hung up on the details, Ryou. I’m going to teach him everything. It’ll be great fun.”

Ryou sighs and picks up his book as he returns to his bed. It’s late and he’s had enough of Fubuki’s antics for one day. He tucks his legs up and lays the book in his lap, barely glancing up at Fubuki and his apprentice. 

“There’s half an hour until lights out,” he says. “Unless you want to dedicate your entire life to your apprentice, I think you should let him go to his room, don’t you?”

The grin that lights up Fubuki’s face is just too adorable. “Right. Go study, Dennis. We’ve got to prepare for our graduation exams together.”

“R-right!” Dennis says and steps away. He glances back at them from the door and bows his head a little. “It was good to meet you, Kaiser.” 

“Ryou’s fine,” Fubuki tells him.

“Go, Macfield,” Ryou says.

The poor kid is going redder the longer Fubuki keeps him and he hurries out like he can’t get away fast enough. Fubuki pouts at the closed door for a moment as if he’s disappointed they’re alone. Ryou doesn’t know how serious Fubuki is about this apprentice thing, it could just as easily be a passing idea that fades as quickly as it appeared, but there’s no way Ryou is letting him get any ideas about _that_ sort of lesson. 

“Are you going to pout or are you joining me to study?” 

Fubuki doesn’t need any more prompting to remember why they got rid of the kid and joins Ryou on the bed. And, of course, he’s immediately taking Ryou’s textbook from him. 

“I was reading that, Fubuki.” 

“I’ll give you something better to study,” Fubuki says, cupping his face and turning Ryou to face him.

“Your lines don’t get any better,” Ryou says. “I hope you don’t intend to teach him those.”

“I’ll have you know I’m considered the Love Magician of Academia.” 

“I’ve changed my mind. You can leave and go study with your apprentice.” 

“You’re such a tsundere. Don’t get cold feet just when things are about to get serious.” 

Ryou sighs and doesn’t bother correcting him or arguing when Fubuki leans in and presses their lips lightly together. His book hits the ground with a dull thud and Ryou concedes defeat. There’s no way he’s getting any studying done tonight. 

Graduation duels cut the graduating class in half. They’re released into a specially built city, simulating the urban warfare they’ll one day be expected to face, and watched over by many of the other students of Academia. They won’t leave the field until half of them have been felled. And while Ryou has no doubts about his skill as a duellist - he’s known as Kaiser for a reason, after all - he’s relieved when Fubuki finds him. It’s reassuring to have Fubuki at his back, just in case.

And then all that’s left for the pair of them to do is hunt together and prove themselves the best Academia has. And Fubuki might be a bit flakey and whimsical, his so called apprentice has done nothing to curb that, but when they hunt there’s no one more reliable. The majority of cards are collected between the two of them alone.

“That was awesome, Fubuki-senpai!” 

The darkness in Fubuki’s eyes clears at his apprentice’s call. His posture relaxes and he turns with a natural, bright grin. Even Ryou feels the tension drain from his shoulders at Dennis’ enthusiasm. The same way Fubuki’s presence relaxes him. Is that why Fubuki was drawn to him? Another bright, sunny presence to bring them both back from the darkness threatening to overwhelm them on the battlefield some days. 

“You too, Kaiser,” Dennis says, cheeks a little red. “With you two leading Academia’s forces, there’s no way anyone will be able to stop us.”

“Don’t underestimate the opponents we’ll face in the other dimensions,” Ryou says. 

They have little idea the quality of duellists in the other dimensions. Ryou assumes they’ll be comparable to their own dimension, with a few stand out duellists who’ll be a real challenge, and mostly mediocre. And without Academia’s training, he doubts many of them will be able to keep up. But, Ryou isn’t so arrogant as to assume it will be easy. Or that any position of command is assured. 

“Are you staying at Academia? Or are you leaving for the mainland?” Dennis says.

“We’re staying,” Fubuki says. “I can’t just abandon my apprentice. And I don’t think Ryou trusts me enough to abandon me.”

“I wouldn’t put Asuka through that stress,” Ryou says.

“Oh, speaking of Asuka, I should go and find my adorable little sister so she can congratulate me too,” he says, stepping away. “Look after Dennis for me, Ryou. I want to duel him and give him some stuff to work on during our time off.”

“You guys are so lucky to get time off after your exams,” Dennis sighs. Fubuki grins and runs off and Dennis seems to only just realise that means he’s actually leaving him. His back goes rigid and he glances up at Ryou. “Umm…”

Ryou almost rolls his eyes. Sometimes, he gets bored of being gawked at like he’s so much better than everyone else.

“Come with me,” Ryou says. Dennis’ footsteps come hurrying after him. “I want to see what Fubuki sees in you. You’re an Honour Student, so you’re obviously capable of something. Show me your true worth.”

“You want to duel me?” Dennis says. 

“I do,” he says. “I’m curious as to why Fubuki has taken such an interest in you.” They step out into the private duel field and Ryou fastens his duel disk onto his arm. “And let me make myself clear, I’m interested in duelling you, not the soldier you’re expected to be. Use your personal deck and come at me in your own way.” 

“Is that really ok?” he says but switches the deck in his duel disk anyway. 

“It’s the quickest way to figure you out,” he replies. “You’re a duellist, aren’t you? I assume you’re not afraid.”

And for the first time, the only red on Dennis’ face as he talks to him is reflected from his duel disk’s blade. “I’ll give you everything I’ve got.” 

Everything isn’t enough. It’s not all that surprising. It takes Ryou two turns to have Dennis flat on his back with his life points at zero. Still half intoxicated by the thrill of the hunt, Ryou’s fingers itch to use the carding function. But Fubuki and Asuka watching from the sidelines stays his hand and keeps him grounded. It’s an interesting duel though. Dennis doesn’t play well with his deck. He’s competent and skilled, yes, but they clearly don’t connect on a spiritual level. He needs a new one.

And he's figured out Dennis. Where Fubuki's light is radiant and brilliant, Dennis' light is reflected and pale. A lost, hollow child, putting on masks of who he's expected to be with a natural talent for reading what his opponent and becoming that. He really does have the makings of a fantastic spy.

Nothing like Fubuki.

“Well, I think that’ll do for the duel I wanted to have before leaving,” Fubuki calls. He sweeps past Ryou and offers his hand to Dennis who takes it gratefully. He holds out a piece of paper and Dennis takes it. “Things to work on. We’ll be back in two weeks. And work on your emotions, ok?”

Dennis blinks at him. “Huh?” 

“If you’re ever going to be any kind of spy, you need a better poker face,” he says. “Let’s start with no turning red every time Ryou looks at you, ok?” Naturally, that has the poor boy turning red as well. “Go. You’ve still got classes this afternoon. Right, Asuka?”

“Right,” Asuka says with a small smile. “See you when you get back.”

She and Dennis head out the door and just before it closes behind them, Ryou catches the Tyler sisters joining them. The younger sister is pulling Misawa along by the hand and grabs Dennis’ arm with the other the second he’s within reach. Not that Dennis seems interested in anything other than running off down the hall to a sulking youngster. 

“Do you approve of my decisions now?” Fubuki says, coming up beside him.

“Perhaps not approve,” Ryou replies. Fubuki nudges his shoulder. “I do understand though.” 

“Well, I suppose that’s a step in the right direction,” he laughs. “I thought, if he was going to spend all his time fawning over you like a schoolgirl in love, I may as well have him close where I can keep an eye on him.”

That’s not what Ryou was expecting to hear at all. And it must show all over his face because Fubuki is laughing. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of love in all forms, but an unrequited love fills me with such sorrow I had to step in. We’ll find him someone nice and help him grow into a wonderful duel soldier at the same time.”

“You want to keep the competition where you can interfere.” 

“He’s not competition,” Fubuki laughs. Ryou shrugs as he steps down from the duel field. His voice is considerably less amused. “Is he?”

“You should know not to underestimate your opponent, Fubuki,” Ryou replies. “I expected better from you.” 

There’s a pause before Fubuki’s footsteps come running after him, catching up at the door. “You're teasing me! I didn't know you had enough of a sense of humour to tease.”

“Am I?” he says, barely able to resist smiling. “I thought I was reminding you of an important lesson.”

“You’re awful to me,” Fubuki says with a melodramatic sigh. “The worst, Hell Kaiser!”

“I am,” Ryou says.

Even so, Fubuki’s fingers slide between his and Ryou squeezes his hand in return. “I don’t know why I put up with you. How did I ever even make friends with such a cruel man?”

“Because we shared bunk beds in our first year, wasn’t it?” he replies. “I’m sure that’s the only reason I ended up making friends with you.”

“Ah, was that it?” he says, leaning against Ryou’s arm as they head back to their dorms to pack for their short break. “I thought it was my magnetic charm.”

“What charm?”

Fubuki’s shoulders slump. “You really are the worst. It’s going to be my mission over the break to fix that awful personality of yours. I think the problem is you just don’t have enough affection. I’ll work on that.”

“If you say so,” Ryou says. “Feel free to try.”


	2. Freedom

How long has it been since they last set foot on the mainland? Six years or so? 

Honestly, Ryou stopped keeping track of school years and how long he’s been at Academia. It’s home. That’s all that really matters. Thinking about things like how long and why is just a distraction. 

Family isn’t all that important anyway. That had long since been trained out of them. Ryou isn’t entirely sure why he’d ever cared for his family in the first place. They did nothing for him but give him his first deck and duel training then send him to Academia. He’s amazed that Fubuki bothers to keep thinking of Asuka as his sister sometimes. Babying Shou was never going to get him anywhere. It’s better to just make a clean break for them both. He doesn’t need to be worrying about someone else on the battlefield. They’re so detached from their former families, neither Ryou nor Fubuki bother returning to them to celebrate their graduation. 

Instead, they decide to get off the leaving ship at an earlier port and will hike the rest of the way to the dock they’ll be returning to Academia from. 

“It’s so pretty!” Fubuki declares, arms spread wide in the sunlight. 

Ryou smiles silently, watching the shadows of clouds move across the dappled farmland and glittering water of the bay. And Fubuki’s dazzling grin and sparkling, bright eyes as his hair and coat sway in the breeze. 

For just a few brief weeks, they’re completely free. 

“Isn’t it pretty, Ryou?” Fubuki laughs, turning to him. His hair bounces around his face and Ryou sighs. “Do you think the united world will be anything like this?”

“I’m sure it will be,” Ryou replies. “It’s going to be a utopia, after all. It’ll be everything you can dream of.” He glances at Fubuki with a smile. “Well, maybe not your dreams.”

“You’re being mean again,” he says with the most adorable pout. He shifts his backpack on his shoulder and turns away down the dirt path with a purposeful stride. “Let’s go! We can’t dawdle if we want to get to our next hotel in time.” 

“I hope you’re this diligent when in command.” 

“Commanding an invasion is boring. Plotting out clandestine romantic trips is way more interesting.”

“Is that what this is?” 

“ _Absolutely_. Aren’t you feeling the romance?” 

Ryou’s smile softens. “Perhaps a little.”

Fubuki grins as Ryou catches him up. He links their arms loosely and drops his hand down to entwine his fingers with Ryou’s. He couldn’t say when he became so used to Fubuki’s palm resting against his, or their finger laced together. He couldn’t even really pinpoint when their relationship shifted to what it is now. Perhaps there was no drastic shift. Perhaps it just slowly blossomed. 

“Do you think the other dimensions have places like this?” Fubuki muses as they walk. 

“I imagine they must,” Ryou replies. “I imagine they’re all diverse worlds. It would be odd if one was just a city as much as it would be odd if our dimension was just Academia.”

Fubuki sighs like that wasn’t the right answer. “As analytical as ever. Turn off your Honour Student brian for five minutes and be romantic, Ryou.”

“Do you think the other dimensions have places like this then?” he says.

“Definitely,” Fubuki replies, squeezing his hand. “You see that sunrise? I bet it looks exactly the same in every dimension. So, no matter how far apart we all are, even if we’re in different dimensions, we can always see the sunrise together.”

“That was awful,” Ryou sighs. “How I fell for someone with lines like that is beyond me.”

“And yet you did,” he laughs. 

“So I did.”

“Hey! Stop!” 

They look up from the scenery and a Red is running from the Juvenile Officers. One of their Canon Boxer monsters grabs the poor girl by the calf. She screams as she goes down, staring up at the pair of them. Her uniform is tattered and dirty and her face is stained in tears. 

“Help me,” she sobs, reaching for them. “Please-”

“If you want to run from your duty, what else do you expect?” Fubuki says. Ryou smiles and drops his bag as the officers approach. “Hey, seriously, Ryou?” 

He takes his duel disk from his bag and the officers pause. “More runaways to deal with.” 

“Ah, no, we have notes,” Fubuki says. “We just graduated-”

“If you think you can deal with us, feel free to try,” Ryou says, activating his duel disk.

The five officers don’t seem to have any idea what they’re dealing with. He’s not surprised. Juvenile Officers are older graduates or never even got to go to Academia. The entire world revolves around Academia’s will, after all. The Professor puts everyone to use in some way. He knows the best way to use everyone. But, if the Red girl has got this far, they’re pretty much useless and Ryou will deal with the runaway himself.

“Ryou?”

“A challenge is a challenge,” Ryou says. “A battle royale is fine, right? I’ll take the first turn.” 

A challenge is a challenge and victory is a victory. Even if these Juvenile Officers offer little challenge. A hunt is a hunt. He doubts they’ll find perfect quality duellists every time in the other dimensions. He has to make do sometimes. And even if it’s not a challenge that pushes him to his limits, when he stands in front of the fallen officers, the intoxicating high is still the same. The light of the carding function flares and the five bodies vanish for a moment. He takes the five cards produced, gazing down the horrified faces sealed within before turning to Fubuki and the girl with a smile. 

“Really, Ryou?” Fubuki sighs.

“Kaiser,” the Red sobs. “Thank you.”

“What are you thanking me for?” Ryou replies, lifting his duel disk once more. The girl’s eyes widen. “I merely delayed your execution. So? If you want to live, stand and fight. It’s your only chance of survival.” 

To the girl’s credit, she stands, even on her injured leg, and raises her own duel disk to face him. She even manages to put up more of a fight than the officers. Ryou is pleased by that, if nothing else. She’s everything a duel soldier should be and more than willing to fight tooth and nail to the end, combative and desperately struggling to survive. It comes to nothing in the end, but Ryou can at least appreciate her fighting spirit.

“Too bad,” Fubuki says, tucking his arms behind him once it’s all over. “She could have been taken for re-education. She’s a good duellist.”

“There’s no mercy for losers,” Ryou replies. The light flashes and the girl vanishes. “Nor those who run away from their duty.” 

He gazes down at the girl’s sobbing face on the card before tossing his new collection at Fubuki who fumbles to catch them. “For me?”

“Consider it a gift,” he says. “I’ll bring you more when we move into other worlds.”

“If you insist, you could at least bring me pretty girls.” Fubuki sighs. Ryou shrugs, putting his duel disk back in his bag only for Fubuki to link their arms once more the moment he’s straightened up. “You’re kinda scary when you duel like that, you know?” 

“Am I? Even for you?”

“Well, I’m not afraid of you, _obviously_. But it’s good, I think. It’ll teach our enemies to fear Hell Kaiser Ryou, commander of Academia’s armies.”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself again,” Ryou says, gazing out over the landscape. “There’s no guarantee of anything like that. Or even that we’ll be sent out with our forces.”

Fubuki pouts. “The Professor would be an idiot to keep you back.”

“The Professor’s choices are always correct,” he replies. “We just don’t always understand them.”

“I know,” Fubuki sighs. And then his smile brightens up again and he laughs, nudging Ryou’s side. It’s the same playfulness that always brings Ryou from the bloodlust of the hunt. “As long long as he doesn’t start getting any idea about telling us we can’t be together. Then I might have to start questioning his orders.”

“I doubt he cares about our relationship.” 

“Good, that means we can carry on as we like. I would absolutely run away with you, though, if it came to it. We'd have to run away together and carry on our forbidden affair.” He grins, ignoring Ryou rolling his eyes. He pulls ahead and drags Ryou by the hand as he walks backwards. “Come on. Your duelling has got us behind schedule. Why do you get so competitive, they weren’t even a threat?”

“A duel is a duel,” Ryou replies. “I’m not going to reject prey offering itself up.”

Fubuki sighs dramatically. “You really are insatiable.” 


End file.
